Mission

The goal is to build a network, a mycelium of listeners to whom people can tell their stories in workplaces, community events, parks, maybe even parties, so we aren’t all keeping our stories stuffed down deep inside us.The vision is to have story shepherds everywhere in communities and in workplaces so story has a place to be told. Shepherds in a medical clinic can listen to care providers’ stories of difficulty and grief or of success and relief. Shepherds at schools can form a storytelling club or add a storytelling session to the school clubs. All that matters is that story have a presence. Shepherds in these and other spaces will reflect their setting while enriching the culture with witness, gravity, levity, care, and love.

So, a story shepherd just listens to stories?

Yes. A story shepherd just listens to stories. If you think that sounds silly or childish, tell a story from your life to someone you trust. Something happens, doesn’t it? Maybe as you tell, the story seems to fork off in multiple directions. Maybe as you tell, some emotions come up. Maybe as you tell, you feel a part of yourself returning or being restored. Telling our stories is far from silly and childish. Our stories are who we are. So, a story shepherd will listen to who you are without judgment. They will sit with you and listen.

What if all my stuff comes up after I tell?

After we have told our stories, we change. Maybe not overnight, but we do change. Think of our untold stories as giant heavy chunks of dried clay just clogging up our bodies and souls and minds. All that weight. All that we carry. Those stories are often wrapped in shame and fear that someone will find out. We might rationally think, “oh, I know so and so isn’t around to hear, but all the same I’ll keep quiet.” We do this a lot. A lot happens when we allow some cool refreshing water pour over that clay. That clay softens. That clay becomes something we can work with, maybe even make something beautiful out of it. This is the nature of telling. It heals us by letting us lighten our burdens.

Who is a Story Shepherd?

A story shepherd is a person who knows how to shepherd story. Knowing that story weaves us all together, a shepherd listens to every word and allows a strory to emerge from silence. A story shepherd gently assures a teller their story is welcome simply through posture and attention. A shepherd listens deeply so the story can rise from deep places. A story shepherd sits with a story as it is being spoken. There is no need to apologize for a story, no need to doubt a story’s belonging in the world. A story shepherd has heard many stories and has explored their own story and knows all the courage and fear that go into telling one. A story shepherd will hear your story.

What if I don’t have a story worth telling?

While storytelling is endemic to all cultures, it does not necessary mean we are all good at listening. Sadly, it is a much neglected skill. People plan their responses while the teller is still talking. People interrupt. People judge. People quickly present a competing story or jump right into telling what they have seen before the first story got entirely told. After a while, we stop feeling we can tell our story. We downgrade our tales to not funny enough, too sad, or we think we are not good storytellers. Claiming our stories by telling them to a good listener is a primal step. We find that once we have a story heard, even if it’s not a major story, we feel a sense of connection.

I told my story, and then all these other stories in me wanted to be told. What is going on?

We tell another story, and we notice that our other stories are starting to stir. We gently let them come forth bit by bit. When we feel our stories are welcome, we relax into them. We discover all of us can be told. We don’t have to be afraid or ashamed or worried our stories won’t fit in the world. Of course they do. You belong in the world. We belong in the world. Many voices have told us we don’t. Many voices have talked over our voices.

How do I become a Story Shepherd?

Communities and organizations can send a message to Laura Hope-Gill letting her know that they have some people interested in being Story Shepherds for that community, for that organization. Laura will work with this group and others during Story Shepherd sessions. When the Northern Irish Peace Builders are here, they will meet with communities and organizations either at their workplaces or at Lenoir-Rhyne University Asheville. The message they share will inspire even the most skeptical person among us to see that story is the strongest medicine.

What if a Story Shepherd needs support after hearing a story?

We are creating a network, not a one-off event. Learning to listen and to hold stories is an ongoing process. If you ever think you’re really good at this, you are probably doing it wrong. We need to be open and vulnerable to the stories we receive. There are practices and techniques that will help you process what you hear while still being entirely human and present. You will also have the Story Shepherds community from which you can draw support and strength. There will be monthly check-ins where we all get to visit and share our own stories. The shepherds are an entire flock, as well.

What’s the goal?

The goal is to create more opportunities for our stories to be told. Let’s invite people who love to listen to tell their stories at a Story Shepherds event. Let’s reflect together on what feels good when we are telling, what feels scary. Let’s build a community of storytellers and storylisteners. Let’s have Story Shepherd events solely for the purpose of quietly, gently allowing a story to come forth. The goal is to have story shepherds in our workplaces and in our parks and trails. Let’s have story shepherds in our communities, in our shelters, in our schools. Let’s build a culture where story connects us. Again. Story sustained humans for thirty thousand years at least. It can do so again. We just need to adjust how we listen. We can still meet with a parity of respect, to borrow a phrase from the Northern Ireland Peace Accord.

What is a parity of respect?

Rather than wait for the thing that pisses you off, wait for the thing that is different and listen to it. We don’t have to react and judge. We don’t have to launch into disagreement. Everything right now is charged with rage and fear. We can pause judgment and listen. We can then tell and receive the same courtesy. We can understand that we are all coming from different places and headspaces and broaden our temperaments. This “cancellation” process is perhaps funny at first, but at what point does this become more than a metaphor? The aim is to de-escalate through patience and listening. Peace has never been built using annihilation. That is not a choice. We have to develop respect at a one-to-one level so we can develop respect at the national and global levels.

Why “shepherds?”

While students engage the history and practice of Story in coursework, participants in Story Shepherds develop listening skills. This is actively empathic listening. It is defined by presence and soft, open attention. Just as a skilled shepherd follows the sheep, a skilled listener follows a story without interruption, without judgment.